Some Useless Knowledge About Mullets

One question comes to mind when the mullet subject is brought up…Why? I have done a bit of research and I'm really shocked at what I found, well not really. To figure out what went wrong, we are going to have to go back to the beginning of history. There is archeological evidence that confirms their existence in Mesopotamia and Asia Minor. They are also present on several Egyptian hieroglyphs and Greek statues. However, the first examples of mullets as social fashion statements are recorded in the 6^th century by the Byzantine scholar and historian Procopius of Caesarea;

"First the rebels revolutionized the style of wearing their hair. For they had it cut differently from the rest of the Romans...clipping the hair short on the front of the head down to the temples, and letting it hang down in great length and disorder in the back, as the Massageti do. This weird combination they called the Hun haircut." Chapter 7 of Procopius of Caesarea: The Secret History

Rebel seems to be the catch phrase that is associated with a mullet. Back then it was a rebellious act against a governing power. Now it's just a rebellious act against looking presentable.

If you have never seen a mullet and want to know what they look like just stop by your local Wal-Mart and look around. If you don't have a Wal-Mart next to you don't fret! You can always look for a trailer park; they have been known to produce large numbers of mullets. If that doesn't work for you can always go back to the 80's, this is where most who have a mullet still reside. Also they can be found in most mug shot photos from your local Police Department

When researching I found that there are three predominate styles and several branching variations. The Fashion Mullets, Forcekullet and Skullet

FASHION MULLET-

Short clean cut in the front and with long beautiful in back. It takes a rare breed of people to sport this hairdo outside of the late 80’s early 90’s.

The 10/90

The 10/90 is just referring to the front to back hair ratio. Here is an example just in case someone needs one. For every one inch of hair in the front you have nine inches in the back.

The Porn Star Mullet

This style can also be known as The Sports Mullet. Hockey seems to have the most mullets per capita.

The Bowllet

Your good old fashion Bowl Cut with some pizzazz.

I wonder if this guy knows that his picture is online

FORCEKULLET

Someone with a mullet who is balding. The outcome is a forced skullet. This is understandable if you have a Camaro, listen to Poison and frequent Wal-Mart.

SKULLET

Someone that shaves their head (to expose the skull) but leaves the mullet. This means they actually walk out of the house in the morning (or evening depending on how many drugs they do the night before) and think to themselves "I look good enough to go outside today”. The rat tail may be included depending on preference.

The mullet has provided us a way to show our rebellious attitudes by hair alone and stood alongside mankind throughout recorded history. But even with all its accomplishments, it is still a horrible hair style.